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What's It All About Alfie?

10 Nov 2017


So what is this “finding my true north” and “North of 45” all about? 


What is driving it?     Where do I want to go with it?

To be perfectly honest I don’t have these answers…and that’s ok.  


I know that I want to explore, test, review and hopefully promote health, fitness & beauty products and services that are specifically relevant or targeted to the “North of 45” woman.   So I’ll be featuring people, places, things, foods, exercises, products, experiences and articles that support this wonderful stage of life.


I also know that I want to challenge the theory of what it is to be, feel, look, act like a woman who is presumably on the ‘wrong’ side of 40.    


I want to showcase strong, fit, healthy, interesting and accomplished women who are striving to be the best they can and make a difference to the people and world around them.


I want to test the boundaries and help redefine what society deems to be beautiful, or attractive, or important or inspiring. 


Personally, I want to age how I want, on my terms, without feeling the pressure to look younger, ‘dress my age’, ‘act my age’, or spend thousands on products to try to stop a natural and inevitable process.  


I want to help other women in this life stage understand their worth, their value to society, the importance of their contribution and the impact that they can have on those ‘Southerners’ in accepting ageing as a beautiful, natural process rather than something that they have to spend their lifetime fighting against.

But specifics?   That I don’t know yet…

The blog, its content, and my future are all things that I anticipate will happen and flow organically from here on in.  

Nothing forced.

No agendas.

No pressure.

No final destination.

And I find THAT idea really exciting. 

You see as a ‘North of 45er” I am done with trying to ‘get somewhere in a hurry’!


I’m over trying to lose X kilos by Y event.  

I’m tired of always feeling like I should be going somewhere, doing something, reading something, meeting someone, making something, accomplishing something just to appear to the world (e.g. other women)  like I have all my shit together.   

I no longer feel like I need to prove myself to other Mums and women….the only person I’m answerable to is myself!  


I’m also done with looking backwards.   Looking back at the 25, 35, even 40 year old women and wistfully wondering why I can’t look like that.   I’m accepting that at 47 I will NEVER look like a 35 year old again, and why SHOULD I?   But I also want to know that I am doing everything in my power to naturally look and feel the best I can at EVERY age.


At 47 I have so much energy, curiosity, thirst for more knowledge, genuine interest in the people, communities and world around me and I want so much to HELP more women enjoy their lives rather than simply tolerate it.    To help make this world a better place for my daughters and their children. To find small ways to make a difference locally that will create ripple effects on a larger scale.


And do you know what is BEST about it all?  


I have the TIME to explore it all.


 (Ok, let me clarify something here – no, I haven’t found a way to magically insert an extra 2 hours into my day so that I have spare time on my hands). 


But my tweenage daughters are now relatively self-sufficient (so much so that I can actually go to the toilet by myself MOST days without interruption! #winning) which means that I have definitely gained back some time FOR myself to work ON myself.    


This is such an interesting time in a woman’s life where your children are not as dependent or demanding of your every minute.  You have passed the major milestone of 40 where, depending on who you talk to, you’re either in the BEST phase of your life, or the best years have already passed you by (what a depressing though!).


You may be in a long-term relationship and now rediscovering each other, or you may be single and struggling with the nightmare that is dating in a world where actual face to face communication is a rarity and the opportunities to meet potential partners in the flesh are scarce, and let’s face it, scary!


 But one thing I refuse to buy into is society’s notion that we are ‘passed our prime’.  

For myself personally, I really hit my stride after turning 40.   I got healthier, stronger, fitter and happier within myself.   And all of those things have increased exponentially with each year that passes…and no, it wasn’t luck, good genetics, or the 4 leaf clover I found….it was hard work. 


Working on myself physically which in turn boosted my confidence, my happiness, my ability to look after others and by default, my mental health. 


So you see for me, ageing has equated to growth and happiness.  To experiences and memories.   To life’s lessons, to growing resilience and to finding out just how strong I can be physically and mentally.


I understand that this is not the case for a lot of women though and that ageing can be a traumatic experience for their bodies and their mental health.  


I’m hoping that in writing my blog we can explore together the ups and downs of growing older, share experiences, find lessons and positives in the negatives and maybe help some of you become more comfortable in yourselves and maybe even see the silver linings in this wonderful time in your life so that you can embrace and enjoy this natural process too.


And so the journey begins…I'll leave you with wise words from Madame Chanel. 


Here's to being irresistible,


Dan x 

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